Artist Statement: Spotted Castle
I sculpted Spotted Castle as a whimsical home for my inner-child searching for belonging. I contemplated the tid-bits I’d picked up from family over the years; stories of giants erecting huge temples, and gallant knights in castles protecting the people of my homeland; the Maltese. Thinking of the daydreams I had about this mystical place, I imagined the shelter that my younger self needed. Growing up in a small town surrounded by people that rejected me for aspects of my culture, I felt utterly alone, and longed for belonging. Spotted Castle is whimsical in form, with organic shapes and rounded edges appropriate for a child. Bridges between tall towers with lookouts, a winding spiral, and cascading staircases evoke a sense of fantasy and play. My spirit feels safe enough to thrive in this form.
However...
... after its transformation in the kiln, I noticed that my connection to the work had changed. What felt playful and fun in form, now feels dangerous. The black spots mar the white surface, and camouflage the windows and doors. Something about the unobvious holes feels deeply unsettling, like a type of trypophobia.
This sense of dread is amplified by Spotted Castle’s lack of foundation. Imagining my spirit curled up in that home feels vulnerable and cold against the surface it rests on: a plinth, a shelf. Upon reflection, this is accurate to my current experience. After moving to Melbourne and finding community, I thought that my childhood wounds had resolved. However, being separated from the land of my heritage, I find myself yearning still. This displacement is amplified further by Malta’s history of colonisation. Having been taken over by several forces, changing and adding to the cultural zeitgeist with every domination, the modern Maltese identity is inherently confused, and I am further so, having only my family to connect me to the surviving history.
What started as a haven for my spirit, ends as a monument to grief. Just as the neolithic temple imagined to be built by giants now stands in ruins, Spotted Castle reflects my continued vulnerability, caused by my deep anger at the cultural disconnection I face as a result of Malta’s history of colonisation and my family's background of immigration and assimilation.